a Mess of a
a poem extracted out of songs.
whenever i was alone with you
you made me feel like i was fun again,
what we had was precious
but i had to let you go
however far away, i’ll always love you
whatever words i say,
i will always love you…
and be it for one night
i still wanna go back to where we were.
Do you wanna?
and right under my feet was air made of bricks
it pulled me down, turned me weak
for you; i was repeating myself like a broken tune,
forever excusing your intentions,
and my pretendings that forgave you
each time without me knowing —
they melt my heart to stone.
and i heard your words i made up,
you said my name like there could have been an us;
i best tidy my head up
for i am the only one in love,
i’m the only one.
and watching you pretend you were unaffected,
you were pulling our connections,
expecting me to let you go,
but i couldn’t.
For i was in love, can’t blame me for checking.
i loved in your direction,
hoping that the message went
somewhere close to you.
and we close enough to start a war
all that i had was on the floor,
God only knows what we were fighting for
all that i said, you always said more.
i really couldn’t keep up with your turning tables
i couldn’t breathe under your thumb,
i couldn’t give you the heart you think you gave me,
And I braved a thousand storms to leave you,
God only knows what raged those.
forgive me first love
but i am tired,
i need to get away, to feel again.
This love’s dried up, and left behind
and if i stay it will be a lie,
so forgive me first love,
i am too tired
i am bored to say the least,
and i lack desire.
all those pain-filled ghazals
now flow in me like rap and rock.
A new world we’ll knit for us
some new god would be found
and if there ain’t be someone worthy,
we selves will become Power thus.
- The song above is not in English, but if you’ll listen to it, you’ll get the jist: moving on. I tried to translate some of its lyrics, roughly that is. Now what I did here? I tried to narrate my heartbreak by the means of telling it through some great lyrics I ‘love’ (ah, this word), and though they were songs, what became out of it is my non fiction of heartbreak. Thanks to Tre for giving the idea, be it indirectly, of how music could be incorporated in poems — I took you too seriously here, haha. Also an important note: none of the above words belong to me, no way! all rights reserved to Adele, Charlie xcx & Mura Musa, and Rihanna and their respective record labels; the songs must be obvious, but if someone wishes to know, just ask me and I’ll make it clearer. I wasn’t going to respond earlier: my pain is fresh, but, as Sunidhi Chouhan sings above, I moved on.
in response to Tre’s challenge: